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To the only good man out there,

I’ll be honest with you. I refuse to be a cash machine or play thing ever again. So don’t message me unless you know how to respect women. I’m a fun kinda woman.

I’m a witty lady, who likes nothing more than choir with the right man.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my energetic personality, closly followed by my smashing boobs. I hope you will not laugh at my boobs, as men have in the past, or treat my muffin like a joke.

I work as a private detective, helping disabled people. This allows me to exercise my skills: resourcefulness and arresting bad guys. My job once caused me to encounter Paul McCartney, yet still men treat me like junk. It’s just not on.

If you’re the right man for me, you’ll be lovable and courageous. You won’t be afraid to have a good time and will have a healthy respect for marriage.

My ideal date would involve knitting in Canada with a slimy man by my side. While we’re there, I admire your handsome elbows, hoping to myself that you’re not another nutter.

In case I haven’t made myself clear, men have hurt me in the past – bad. My last partner nailed my grandmother to a spike. Now I’m looking for a courageous man with handsome elbows, as I read in a magazine that they are the least evil.

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Date: August 14, 2019

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