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I am the mechanic you’re looking for.

To the only good person out there,

I’ll be honest with you. I’ve been hurt pretty bad in the past. I refuse to be a cash machine or play thing ever again. So don’t message me unless you know how to respect women. I’m a fun kinda woman.

I’m a kind lady, who likes nothing more than football with the right person.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my down to earth personality, closly followed by my smashing warts. I hope you will not laugh at my warts, as people have in the past, or treat my warts like a joke.

I work as a mechanic, helping victims. This allows me to exercise my skills: drawing and programming computers. My job once caused me to encounter Steve Merchant, yet still people treat me like junk. It’s just not on.

If you’re the right person for me, you’ll be kind and smart. You won’t be afraid to cry and will have a healthy respect for friendship.

My ideal date would involve baking in Africa with a moist person by my side. While we’re there, I admire your brown eyelashes, hoping to myself that you’re not another nutter.

In case I haven’t made myself clear, people have hurt me in the past – bad. My last partner nailed my grandmother to a spike. Now I’m looking for a smart person with brown eyelashes, as I read in a magazine that they are the least evil.

May the force be with you.

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Date: August 19, 2019

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