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Are your hands beautiful enough for my amazing hands?
I have given pleasure to the world because I have such beautiful hands! (Or so the Cat might say.)
To only the best men out there,
I’m a delightful kinda woman, who likes nothing more than hiking with the right man, and socialising with my good mate, Jack Duckworth, who admires my funny qualities.
The first thing people usually notice about me is my understanding personality, closly followed by my smashing hands. I can be a jerk when I don’t know people well – with body parts like my hands and my lips, I can afford to be.
I work as a actor, helping disabled people. This allows me to exercise my skills: bravery and selling kippers. One day, I was just about to stop work when Jack Duckworth appeared from nowhere and congratulated me on a job well done. “Mad4It, that was a job well done.” That’s the kind of thing people say to me on a daily basis. Of course, now, Jack Duckworth and me are best friends, and the praise runs like water. A lesser person would get a big head.
My life goals include:
Watch the filming of the next season of Red Dwarf
Shoot a follow-up to the perfume advert I star in
Become the best actor I can be
If you’re the right man for me, you’ll be charming and hopeful. You won’t be afraid to cry and will have a healthy respect for honesty.
My ideal date would involve stamp collecting in Kent with a charming man by my side. While we’re there, I evaluate your beautiful hands, checking that you’re up to my understandably high standards.
Men only get one chance with me. For every man who displeases me, there are another 111 waiting in the wings to replace you.
‘Now kindly cluck off before I extract your giblets and shove a large, seasoned onion between the lips you never kiss with.’
If you’re worthy, get in touch!
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