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And now for something completely different.

To only the best men out there,

I’m a noble kinda woman, who likes nothing more than star gazing with the right man, and socialising with my good mate, Albert Einstein, who admires my admirable qualities.None of my current partners understand me. I need to meet somebody special – somebody I really connect with.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my kind personality, closly followed by my smashing eyebrows. I can be a jerk when I don’t know people well – with body parts like my eyebrows and my legs, I can afford to be.

I work as a cleaner, helping criminals. This allows me to exercise my skills: painting and painting. One day, I was just about to stop work when Albert Einstein appeared from nowhere and congratulated me on a job well done. “A Evelline Cat”, that was a job well done.” That’s the kind of thing people say to me on a daily basis. Of course, now, Albert Einstein and me are best friends, and the praise runs like water. A lesser woman would get a big head.

If you’re the right man for me, you’ll be hopeful and helpful. You won’t be afraid to spend time with my friends and will have a healthy respect for personal freedom.

My ideal date would involve baking in London with a fragile man by my side. While we’re there, I evaluate your moist toes, checking that you’re up to my understandably high standards.

Moreover, Men only get one chance with me. For every man who displeases me, there are another 111 waiting in the wings to replace you.

A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh?

If you’re worthy, get in touch!

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Date: August 19, 2019

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