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I wonder if I could intrude upon a little of your time,

I’m an intelligent kind of girl, who likes nothing more than football with the right person.None of my current partners understand me. I need to meet somebody special – somebody I really connect with.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my patient personality, closly followed by my smashing eyes. My friends say I’m very intelligent and that I have great eyes and acceptable eyes, but what would I know? I just live in this heap of junk they call my body.

I work as a detective, helping sick children. This allows me to exercise my skills: surfing sniffles and cutting hair. The most interesting thing that’s happened to me at work, is that Yogi Bear asked me for a sandwich. Of course, I was astounded that such a person would have time for muggins here. Of course, I made the sandwich.

If you’re the right person for me, you’ll be delightful and considerate. You won’t be afraid to meet my parents and will have a healthy respect for danger.

My ideal date would involve football in Devon with a pretty person by my side. While we’re there, I worship your fat fingernails, only able to aspire to being worthy of you.

I’m just a humble girl trying to make my way in the world. I cannot imagine why you’d want to date little old me, but if an ordinary, nice bloke is something you think you could find yourself growing to love, I do have all my own teeth and an adequate pension plan.

When you play The Game Of Love, you win or you die.

If you can find it in your heart to take pity on a hopeless romantic, please give me a whirl.

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Date: May 17, 2020

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